I don't know why today, but things seem to be coming together. Perhaps because I've been in Nature for a week. Perhaps reading about a deep thoughtful madman has been inspiring me to return to a form of deep contemplation that I've abandoned. Either way, a lot of things seem to be making sense today.
My current train of thought took off when reading about the difference between ego-climbers and instrinsic, selfless climbers. The ego-climber may make it to the top, but he'll miss out on all the subtle beauty beforehand. Blinded by a furhter destination, he'll never appreciate the present. Even reaching the summit may prove to be a hollow victory, because there will always be another summit to climb. More ways to build and feed an ego that he's terrified of viewing realistically - a temporary illusion.
This thought led to a previous one I had not too long ago at Kopan Monastery. One of the nagging, unanswered questions I had was about positive desire or attachment. More specifically, I was interested by my desire to see the world and everything it holds. To "see it all." Obviously this is a desire that will never be fulfilled, but in pursuit of this unfulfillable desire, I'm likely to see and experience much more than if I never had this desire. What's the problem in this?
Through my limited experience and knowledge, I've come to conclude that there's two types of travelers. Some who are in a cage, and some who are not. The actions of the two different travelers may seem similar. They both get off planes, stay in swaggy motels, see the sights and search for ways to penetrate the tourist veneer to see the "real" country. Yet although the actions may seem the same, the caged travelers have a motivation that drastically changes the meaning and experience they have.
So, where does this difference in motivation lie? Directly at the motivation to travel itself. It lies at the motivation to "see it all." If the motivation is truly this simple, then like I said before the desire will never be realized. Yet the damage caused by this motivation lies much deeper. It's clear to almost anyone that they actually won't see everything, so most will be somewhat satisfied with the travels they do have. Yet the desire to "see it all" significantly decreases the satisfaction one will have on their travels. If one truly wants to see it all, their current location will never be enough, because "it all" is over at some vague horizon "over there". Yet once they get "over there", they'll find it unsatisfying because now "over there" is "here" and "it all" lies on some new horizon "over there". With this desire to get "there", one is likely to miss out on the subtle beauty of "here", which ironically was once the very horizon they were seeking.
What a conundrum! The very desire that leads to one to get to a new location is clouding the beauty and perfection it holds. It's a troubling trap without a clear escape. I call this the "cage of seeing it all."
For an evening in my sleeping bag and a morning of meditation I examed this cage. Looked at the nature of the bars and the possibility for escape. But after close examination I discovered the cage was complete, inescapable. I looked inward instead.
Upon doing this, I learned numerous routes of escape. With a sincere feeling of gratitude, opposed to a delayed gratitude for the ever-moving horizon, the bars widened a bit. With a clear and aware mind, developed through meditation, one's mind was free and open to sense the subtle beauty of a place and its people - the bars widened more. With eyes that aimed to truly "see" instead of just "looking", both the panorama of the mountains and the small rocks that create them were simultaneously visible - the bars became rubbery and flexible. Finally, as the ego disappeared, which is so concerned with clinging to impermanent identities to impress others and oneself, the bars themselves disappeared. The "cage of seeing it all" was no more. Contemplating this, I feel free to roam while still being completely content with what "is.". I feel like I can move to "it all" over "there", but find satisfaction with every step of the journey, every moment that I am "here.".
Meditating upon all this, I feel free, almost as if I've entered a new state of being. What is this state of being? "Roaming enlightenment?" "Flowing isness?"... No... Those both sound amazingly pretentious and stupid... Hm...Aha! "The Traveller's Key." A key to escape the "cage of seeing it all", which invariably leads to seeing nothing at all. A key to being perfectly content with here, but also being perfectly content with going over there. Perfect.
Well, not perfect. In all honesty, I don't know if a renewed focus toward gratitude, awareness, seeing and egolessness will be the solution to trying to travel the world while still finding happiness with the current location. I don't know if it will help me escape the cage. At the present moment it's only a thought, with just faint traces of it in my feelings and actions. It's like a potentially wise passage of a book that I've skimmed over instead of carefully reading and understanding. I have 3 days until I reach the viewpoint for Mt. Everest, so until then I'll study the passage, revise as necessary, and see what I find.
My current train of thought took off when reading about the difference between ego-climbers and instrinsic, selfless climbers. The ego-climber may make it to the top, but he'll miss out on all the subtle beauty beforehand. Blinded by a furhter destination, he'll never appreciate the present. Even reaching the summit may prove to be a hollow victory, because there will always be another summit to climb. More ways to build and feed an ego that he's terrified of viewing realistically - a temporary illusion.
This thought led to a previous one I had not too long ago at Kopan Monastery. One of the nagging, unanswered questions I had was about positive desire or attachment. More specifically, I was interested by my desire to see the world and everything it holds. To "see it all." Obviously this is a desire that will never be fulfilled, but in pursuit of this unfulfillable desire, I'm likely to see and experience much more than if I never had this desire. What's the problem in this?
Through my limited experience and knowledge, I've come to conclude that there's two types of travelers. Some who are in a cage, and some who are not. The actions of the two different travelers may seem similar. They both get off planes, stay in swaggy motels, see the sights and search for ways to penetrate the tourist veneer to see the "real" country. Yet although the actions may seem the same, the caged travelers have a motivation that drastically changes the meaning and experience they have.
So, where does this difference in motivation lie? Directly at the motivation to travel itself. It lies at the motivation to "see it all." If the motivation is truly this simple, then like I said before the desire will never be realized. Yet the damage caused by this motivation lies much deeper. It's clear to almost anyone that they actually won't see everything, so most will be somewhat satisfied with the travels they do have. Yet the desire to "see it all" significantly decreases the satisfaction one will have on their travels. If one truly wants to see it all, their current location will never be enough, because "it all" is over at some vague horizon "over there". Yet once they get "over there", they'll find it unsatisfying because now "over there" is "here" and "it all" lies on some new horizon "over there". With this desire to get "there", one is likely to miss out on the subtle beauty of "here", which ironically was once the very horizon they were seeking.
What a conundrum! The very desire that leads to one to get to a new location is clouding the beauty and perfection it holds. It's a troubling trap without a clear escape. I call this the "cage of seeing it all."
For an evening in my sleeping bag and a morning of meditation I examed this cage. Looked at the nature of the bars and the possibility for escape. But after close examination I discovered the cage was complete, inescapable. I looked inward instead.
Upon doing this, I learned numerous routes of escape. With a sincere feeling of gratitude, opposed to a delayed gratitude for the ever-moving horizon, the bars widened a bit. With a clear and aware mind, developed through meditation, one's mind was free and open to sense the subtle beauty of a place and its people - the bars widened more. With eyes that aimed to truly "see" instead of just "looking", both the panorama of the mountains and the small rocks that create them were simultaneously visible - the bars became rubbery and flexible. Finally, as the ego disappeared, which is so concerned with clinging to impermanent identities to impress others and oneself, the bars themselves disappeared. The "cage of seeing it all" was no more. Contemplating this, I feel free to roam while still being completely content with what "is.". I feel like I can move to "it all" over "there", but find satisfaction with every step of the journey, every moment that I am "here.".
Meditating upon all this, I feel free, almost as if I've entered a new state of being. What is this state of being? "Roaming enlightenment?" "Flowing isness?"... No... Those both sound amazingly pretentious and stupid... Hm...Aha! "The Traveller's Key." A key to escape the "cage of seeing it all", which invariably leads to seeing nothing at all. A key to being perfectly content with here, but also being perfectly content with going over there. Perfect.
Well, not perfect. In all honesty, I don't know if a renewed focus toward gratitude, awareness, seeing and egolessness will be the solution to trying to travel the world while still finding happiness with the current location. I don't know if it will help me escape the cage. At the present moment it's only a thought, with just faint traces of it in my feelings and actions. It's like a potentially wise passage of a book that I've skimmed over instead of carefully reading and understanding. I have 3 days until I reach the viewpoint for Mt. Everest, so until then I'll study the passage, revise as necessary, and see what I find.
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